Cooking with Tom Schreck

I met Tom Schreck when I edited a mystery anthology a few years ago and was delighted with his hilarious writing and charming self. I’ve already pre-ordered The Vegas Knock-Out for my Kindle. I am so happy to host Tom’s guest post here today – Enjoy!-AA

Tom Schreck is the unmistakably masculine author of The Duffy Dombrowski Series, featuring bad professional boxer and social worker, Duffy and his obstinate basset hound, Al. His newest release “The Vegas Knockout” is due out May 15. He’s giving away a Kindle Fire on his Facebook Fan page. Read about it at www.tomschreck.com.

I’m a half ass vegetarian who longs for good bar food. The condition: the bar food can’t be made out of a mammal.

My invention—Buffalo Tofu Wings!

Here’s what you need:

12 ounces of extra firm Tofu, drained and pressed

Franks Red Hot sauce

Two tablespoons of margarine

KC masterpiece original BBQ sauce

2 Basset Hounds

1 Bloodhound

2 overweight cats

Crumbly Bleu Cheese

Wishbone Bleu Cheese dressing

Garlic

Pepper

One wife

Carrots and Celery

12 pack of Schlitz Beer (Duffy’s fave.)

Directions

Turn on the Fry Daddy home Fry-o-later. Open a Schlitz. Mix one cup of Frank’s Red Hot, the margarine, the BBQ sauce and a splash of Schlitz in a large mixing bowl. Immediately drink the remainder of the Schiltz bottle. Go into the living room and see why the bassets are barking out the window and to remove the loafer from the bloodhound’s mouth. Yell loudly. Disregard the hounds’ ambivalence.

Throw empty Schiltz away and open a fresh one. Mix the bleu cheese dressing with bleu cheese crumbles, pepper and garlic. Listen to the wife’s day while the two bassets bark and the bloodhound bays. Curse at cat for scratching sofa. Finish beer and open new one.

Cut tofu into chicken wing size strips. Pull basset hound heads out of carrot and celery serving dish and yell, “Damn it!” Apologize to wife. Discard beer.

Open Fry Daddy cover and wipe scalding splattering grease from face. Sip from fresh beer. Dump Tofu chunks into greasy mixture and close cover. Sprint to rescue cat attacked by three hounds. Yell, “Damn it!” as shin is cracked on coffee table. Apologize to wife. Finish beer.

Remove tofu from fry-o-later when they are the consistency of Styrofoam packing chips, mix in hot sauce preparation and dip in bleu cheese. Hold aloft from snapping scent hounds and enjoy

Best served with a cold Schlitz. Or two.

Or five.

To pre-order The Vegas Knockout for Kindle or hard copy click here.


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One Response to Cooking with Tom Schreck

  1. Pingback: Where I’ve Been! « Tom Schreck

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